Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
