Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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