She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
