U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
