I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
