I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
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You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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