why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
