It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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