I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
