i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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