who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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