How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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