Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
