im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
