none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
