dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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