Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
