I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
