Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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