We're facebook friends in real life
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
