Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic