I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.