Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
as a side note pls kill me