i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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