i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i'm high and self actualising, please send help