I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME