Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.