Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that

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(254): View more from Texas

I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.

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