At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
