I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
