I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
