he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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