it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
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Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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