I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
