Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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