Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
