I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
