question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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