She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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