Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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