The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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