dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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