i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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