this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
