the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm too high and old for this...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
