The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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