Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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