At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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