you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize