I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize