I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
