Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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