i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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