lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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