And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
the liver wants what the liver wants
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When are your genitals available?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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