dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
