we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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