Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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