You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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