The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
