it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
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Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize