i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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