I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's blow job season.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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