Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
