i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I want to be your penis for a week.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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