I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
