don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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