the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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