At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
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I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
as a side note pls kill me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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