We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
