I faked an abortion last night.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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