Three words: puerto rican gang bang
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
