I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
where are you?
Hypothermia
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize