I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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