If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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