i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
