the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
