I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
