I think my fart just growled at me.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
