peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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