Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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