are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She announced her abortion via fbk
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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