We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Two words: blizzard sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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