quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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