I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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