who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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