garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
