I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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