We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
