That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
