I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
